Dear Nona,

I have a student who keeps trying to cheat on every assessment, even though he’s really smart and doesn’t need to. I will address the issue with him, but should I also bring it up with his parents? If so, how do I handle that conversation? I don’t want it turning into an argument.

— Not Looking for a Fight

Dear Not Looking for a Fight,

Good call on addressing the student first. But yes, if the pattern continues, the parents need to know.

Here’s how you can approach the parents without causing a meltdown:

Start With a Compliment.

Why? Because no parent wants to hear only the bad stuff. This sets the tone. “[Student] is bright and capable. I really enjoy having him in class.”

Keep It About Growth.

Don’t start with, “Your child is cheating.”

Instead, try something like, “I’ve noticed [Student] is struggling to complete tests honestly, even though he’s very capable. I’d like to work together to help him build confidence in his own abilities.”

Framing it this way reduces defensiveness. You’re not attacking their child—you’re advocating for their growth.

Stick to Facts, Not Accusations.

Bad: “He’s dishonest and breaking the rules.”

Better: “On [specific dates], I observed him using unauthorized resources on tests. I want to make sure he learns to trust his knowledge instead of relying on shortcuts.”

Facts leave no room for argument (hopefully).

Offer a Solution, Not Just a Problem.

Parents don’t just want to hear what’s wrong. They want to know how to fix it.

Try: “I’d love to work with [Student] on strategies to improve his test-taking skills. Would you be open to reinforcing at home that he’s capable of succeeding without shortcuts?”

Be Ready for These Parent Reactions:

The Excuser: “He’s just stressed. Maybe you should make the tests easier.”

The Defender: “Are you sure? He said he wasn’t cheating!”

Your Response: “I understand this might be surprising, but my goal is to help him develop skills for success—not just in my class, but in life.”

Final Thought: If they’re cooperative? Great. If not? Document everything and involve admin if necessary.

Stay professional, stay factual, and stay calm. The goal isn’t to win—it’s to get the student to do better.

— Nona

More Pro Tips

Ms. L: "I always start with, ‘I want to partner with you on this.’ It helps parents see we’re on the same team."

Mr. W: "If they get defensive, I repeat: ‘I’m here to help, not punish. Let’s work together.’ It calms most parents down."

Mrs. B: "When I sense a parent isn’t ready to hear it, I say, ‘I’ll follow up in a few days so we can touch base.’ It gives them time to process."